Did you know Taylor and Travis were recently  engaged?

It’s not really a topic I give much thought to. They’re just people who happen to be good at what they and what they do makes them especially visible. But they’re still just people.

I wish them well.

This morning C casually mentioned he hoped their engagement was going well. Sure, me too?

I’m not a celebrity worshipper so I don’t feel any special attachment there. I like to follow people like John Green not because he’s a celebrity but because he and his brother Hank have insightful videos.

I suspected though that there was something deeper in his comment. I took the bait.

“She’s had a lot of boyfriends.”

I laughed. Yep, I have heard this take on Taylor Swift several times. Somehow dating is incompatible with a happy marriage. Or that’s the conventional wisdom when applied to highly successful women.

Cherokee and I tend to focus on questions to challenge the kids first. Why do you think that way? What about this? Why not that? It gives them different perspectives without just pushing one on them.

We asked about Travis Kelce. What about his girlfriends? What about his dating life?

Honestly, we have no clue about any of that. Maybe he’s been celibate like a monk. I know as much about his dating life as I do Swift’s.

What we do know is the clear double standard. The only concern has been Taylor Swift’s past as if that’s the sole factor in a successful relationship.

Cherokee and I took the time to explain the purpose of dating: discovering your own likes and who you are compatible with. A person can go on many many dates that reflect learning opportunities and little else.

Then the double standard. We don’t do double standards. We aren’t going to treat her past as morally dubious because she’s a woman while his past is somehow virtuous as a man.